June 2013 hates me thus far...

It all started on Saturday, June 1. I posted 3 bails that day. Ran my butt off. It started at 1:00 am and finished that afternoon. On my way home from the jail there was an accident on the highway, so I took the long way around. Luckily, it was a nice day for a drive. June 2: reviewing my paperwork from the previous days and realized that I was missing an important piece of paper from one bail and COMPLETELY screwed up another one. As in, I wrote the bond out for $89 less than it needed to be. Shit. I called the jail to see if I could come and fix it, but they had dropped the bond and I had to wait until the morning. Ugh. June 3: Got the call that I could go to the jail and correct my mistake from Saturday. YAY!!! So off I go knowing that I am taking a loss to my pay. If I'm not in the office, I don't get paid. Figuring I would lose an hour to an hour and a half at most, I put the pedal to the floor. On my way I got a call about a new bail at that jail that was ready to go. Sweet. I fixed my bond and called the new signer. "Ready to go" meant "I need to call you back" which led to "I will be there in an hour." 12:00 they show up. I bang out my paperwork and go into the lobby at 12:20. At 2:45 they pull me into the back to write my bond and meet my client. At 3:15 they finally take my bond. 3:30, they walk us out. Just in time for traffic. At this point it's not worth it for me to go back to the office because: A. I'm miserable B. By the time I get there it's time to go home. Yes, I could stay late to make up my hours, but it's my only night off this week so I really don't want to. June 4: Arizona Liability. Nuff said Side note: If I ever go to Phoenix, I might need a bail because I have so much hatred for the way they do bail I might kill someone. In addition to it flat out being a bad day at the office. June 5: Another day, another headache. The past 2 days sucked so bad that I blocked them out. June 6: Spilled soda on myself walking out the door. Hit the curb trying to park my car. Tripped walking down the street. Shawn was out of the office so I was writing bail that day in addition to my office work. Met my client at the jail at grabbed the wrong paperwork...twice. Had a stare down with a red ant while waiting for him to be released. Went back to the office for an hour or so and went back out to do another bail. Just in time for the rain. Made it back to the office with 2 hours left in the day to finish my entire day's worth of work. June 7: Put Fraggile Rock style pig tails in my hair because I hit a point where nothing made sense in my life except the need for pigtails. Stressing about money. My boss helped out a bit for me being out of the office all day on Monday. But I'm at the point where I need every penny I can get. I assess my check for certain bills and it not being the same every week stresses me out BIG TIME. I need to write bail in ADDITION to my paycheck, not instead of. I'm not trying to sound mean, rude, unappreciative, etc. I really appreciate the extra compensation. It just needed both. But bail is a crap shoot and unpredictable. So you take what you can get. LOL. I need 2 new tires before I go see my dad next weekend, car payment is due this week, other bills need to be paid, and I still need to find the travel money for next week. UGH. June 8: Things are looking up! Got my final 2 tires on my car for a decent price! But it's pretty scary when the guys at the shop know me when I walk in the door. Thank God they're nice and not trying to screw me on the price. And I got MORE coupons!!!!! I have a hair appointment this afternoon, so I'm really hoping that goes well :) But I'm really bummed that for the third year in a row I am missing the Kenny Chesney concert. I need to make more money. STAT.

For the love of GOD someone give me a BREADSTICK!

So I decided to give up starches for Lent. Not carbs. Starches. There's no way in hell I would survive carb-free. And I would DEFINITELY end up in jail. So here I am...day 6...and I might hold up the Domino's next door for some cheesy bread. Or tackle the delivery driver as he unknowingly carries pizza to his car for delivery. This is serious, my friends. If I see a Tasty Cake truck or a Frito Lay man, things could get messy. I might tackle the driver and just smell all the delicious, greasy goodness that lingers about! Next thing you know I'll be covered in Cheese Doodle dust cowering in the corner. I keep telling myself that my Grandmother gave us smoking every year, I can give up starches. Hell, Jesus was nailed to a cross for 40 days. Starches should be easy. UGH!!!! This is killing me! I'm so WEAK!!!!

You might be a Mobster...

Ok, so NORMALLY the dynamic of our office is this: Shawn is the daytime bail agent and I am the receptionist. If for some reason Shawn is not available to write the bail, then the responsibility falls onto me. It's kind of like being 1st Runner Up in a pageant. If for some reason the winner cannot perform their duties the 1st Runner Up will assume the responsibility. Anyway, so Shawn was out of the office collecting someone who missed court, therefore it was my job to field the bail calls and such. So I walk into the office and our office manager gives me a call sheet from someone who had called earlier before I got to work. She said she hadn't made any calls on it as of yet, but the defendant gave us his mother's and his sister's phone numbers. His sister was a teacher and was at work, so I wouldn't be able to speak directly with her until her lunch break, but if I call and leave a message she will call me back. Well, since the guy had charges in 2 different counties I decided to Google him and see if any information popped up. Sure enough! As soon as a hit the "Search" button the screen was flooded with information. Not about him, but about his father who he was named after. His father who was apparently a rather well known member of the Gambino Crime Family. His father who was killed by Sammy The Bull and they never found his body. HOLY CRAP! So as I speak with the defendant, I don't tell him that I know any of this, but he tells me he owns his own company. A concrete company. (YIKES!!!) So I call his mother to see if she's willing to do the paperwork and such. Mind you, the defendant also told me that his mother is an author and writing a screen play...which was verified by Google. Mom starts talking to me, and tells me that her son is a good guy and he got messed up when he met his wife. "How can you expect to meet a nice girl in a strip club! She's Brazilian and only married him for a Green Card! They're separated now...how old are you? Are you single? You seem like a nice girl! My son...he's very shy...you tell him he needs to take you out for a nice meal! I want you to be my daughter-in-law..." HOLY CRAP! Next thing I know, my cell phone goes off. It's the sister returning my call. Now I'm freaked out. How did she get my cell phone number? I called her from the office? OMG! Am I being followed? Then the mom calls me back on my cell phone. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?? IS THAT A SNIPER ACROSS THE STREET ON THE BUILDING ROOF? Apparently, when I left the voicemail for his sister, I left my cell number instead of my office number. DUH! So anyway, I get the paperwork done and tell everyone that I just need the payment and I will go bail him out. Everyone is confused because the payment was already made. Not to me it wasn't. Little did we know, the cousin had been working with a different company who ultimately did the bail. Ok, fine. No big deal. Well midnight rolls around and my phone rings. (I'm NOT answering my phone at midnight...a number I don't know...on my weekend off.) Then it rings again. Now I'm just pissed. So I answer it with attitude. Hello!!!??? WHAT? WHO IS THIS? Its Mr. Mafia! His mother gave him my cell phone number to have him call me! Meanwhile, my email is blowing up with his mother emailing me telling me to tell him he needs to take me out to dinner! So I'm on the phone with him for an hour,(I don't know why) and he calls me AGAIN in the morning! NO. Not answering it. My co-workers want me to take one for the team because this relationship could be great for business. Me? I'm running!

Old and Boring

Last night I was self reflecting...UGH. Next month I will turn 37 and I was thinking back to when I was younger and had so much energy and so much FUN and was HAPPY!!! Now, that grace period from teenager to young adult has passed and I'm in full blown adulthood and it SUCKS. I have no desire to do ANYTHING. Nothing. I used to love baking and dancing and even exercising! Now, I think about doing those things and the following thoughts cross my mind: "Ugh." "Too much sweat involved." "The clean up is a bitch." I will be that old lady that is fat and lazy and has a permanent scowl on her face. I can feel it coming on already. And I'm more miserable than I am happy. Maybe I need to drink more.

$2,113.58

$2,113.58 That is an actual number reflecting my "income" from working at JC Penney for the year 2012. Yes. I work there very part time. However, nothing depresses me more than realizing that I wasted a ton of my year for $2,113.58. Would you accept a job that paid you $2,113.58 per year? That's $40 per week...before taxes. After taxes...$32 per week. Things I can do to make more than $32 per week: clip coupons, mow someone's lawn, shovel a driveway, wait on 1 table consisting of 6 adults and Denny's, cash in loose change, return used games to Best Buy, sell 3 scarves that took me a total of 4 hours to make, sell my blood, drive to NYS and return cans for recycling...do you see where I'm going with this. Most importantly...things I can do for more than $40 per week BEFORE taxes...WRITE ONE BAIL! One. Time to seriously consider the time I spend working for a company ranked as the most hated in the country that has done nothing but take away from their staff.

Sometime you look back and say, "DAMN! That was a close one!"

In my line of business you don't really get a full background of your clients. If you ran a full background check on every call, you'd never bail anyone out of jail. Now, we run our prospective clients on the New Jersey Dept. of Corrections website, but that only shows people within the last year. Sometimes we run a Google search and sometimes you're out of the office and get a call and just have to hope for the best. Last month I bailed a guy out in the middle of the night on a Contempt of Court charge from 3 years prior. He failed to make his time payments as set up by the court. His grandmother was the one bailing him out and told me repeatedly that he's a nice boy and has never really gotten into trouble. After 3 hours of waiting for him to get released and doing his Defendant paperwork he told me that he just got out of State Prison where he'd been for the last 3 years. Thus, the missed time payments. Well, all clients have to check in once a week whether it be on the phone or in person. Due to his small bail, he only had to call in. Its not unusual for first timers to forget they have to call in. So my co-worker called him to remind him. His father answered the phone and said that his son was back in jail in Passaic County. Standard procedure when a client is in custody again is to call the jail and get the details of the bail and the charges. So I called over to the County Jail to verify the bail. He's being held on $1 million Cash Only bail on charges of: Murder, Attempted Murder, Possession of a weapon, Unlawful possession of a weapon, Possession of a weapon-person not allowed to have a weapon (need I go on?) Yup. He's a good boy. He's never really gotten into trouble. Thanks Grandma! Fast Forward: $5,000 bail for possession of drugs. No history in the past year on NJ Dept of Corrections. Google search? Aggravated assault on his wife, kidnapping his daughter which led to a manhunt and, oh yeah, he and his friend shot a cop. Luckily, the officer didn't die!! So....DAMN! That was a close one!

Well, 2013...we seem to be off on the wrong foot!

Like most people I was ready and willing to embrace 2013 with open arms. In return, I have so far been greeted by a dirty armpit. It all started on New Year's Eve. What would normally be a 5.5-6 hour drive from visiting my family in Upstate New York turned into 9 hours of hell. Thankfully it wasn't a snowy day because, as I learned on the drive up in a snow storm, I don't have tires that are suitable for snow. The first 15 miles were me following my mother as she drove 57 MPH on the 65 MPH highway. We stopped for lunch to meet her friends were I listed to one of them bitch about my father and tell me how much I am like him. Obviously, I responded with a smile and a very, VERY proud "Thank you". I held back from saying, "Bless your heart!" 9 hours later, we are literally 4 miles from our exit and 5 miles from our house, my mother needs to stop for gas. What? WHY??!!!! NOW??????!!!!!!! At that point I lost it and left her in the dust. I arrived home to find a ton of food and awesome New Year's decorations and the house ready for our own little New Year's party! It was so great! We played games and did karaoke and watched the ball drop! I went to bed...and it all went down hill from there. I was on call New Year's Day and took a few calls. Set up a few bails and then my morals kicked in. I got a call on a big bail, but recognized the name. It was a previous call and it wasn't my bail technically. So I did the right thing as passed it on the agent it belonged to. The other two calls were set up for the following day with the premise of "Call me when you're ready and we'll set it all up for you." Wednesday morning: (ring ring) "Miss Tania. You're bail is here are you on your way in?" Ummmmm....WHAT? NO! I'm naked in the bathroom from just getting out of the shower! Shit. "I'll be right there." Insert every red light along the way, slow drivers, and literally, a little old lady crossing the road with a walker...as the light turns green. Well, I managed to get that bail taken care of with minimal issues. Of course, I forgot something in the van and had to go back out through security at the court house, then back in through security. Oh yeah, and I forgot to fill out how much the bail was on the bond. (Whoopsie.) I called my other bail that was set up but they had no mode of transportation and would call me back when they found a ride. (Fast forward two days and the guy has a NO BAIL detainer pop up out of Pennsylvania. Guess who's not getting out of jail anytime soon?) Now, for the past week and a half I have been working on a big bail. This has been a nightmare. Short version: I got into a disagreement with the Prosecutor after he insulted me and made me cry. Then find out the family is all a bunch of liars. We pull the plug on the bail and I get yelled at, again, by the defendant's uncle. I hung up on him. I've been trying to pay my car payment for a month now and the money won't draft from my account. They close my internet access to their website due to 3 insufficient funds. Ummmm. WHAT???? The money had been sitting there! Let me get this straight. You have my phone number, my email address and my physical address but you never once felt compelled to tell me that you are unable to draft my account due to an ERROR!!!!????? So, one late fee and $8.55 later, the money was wired to them and will be for the next 12 months because that is how long I am forbidden to make an online payment with them due to 3 unsuccessful attempts to draft my account. Oh! And I got the letter from them TODAY saying they can't draft my account due to an error. Yeah. Thanks. Got it. Glad I can pick up the phone and call you to discuss this cuz you sure as hell can't seem to do it for me! Now...let's talk about Bail Source Inquiries. A bail source inquiry is required for certain charges in the state of New Jersey. This means I have to fill out an 8 page form about the defendant, the co-signer for the bond and where the money came from to pay for the bond. In 2012 I have filled out probably 3. In 2013...I have filled out one already, my co-worker has filled out one already, I have another one to be done on Monday, and there's another one pending on another call. So you fill this out, the client signs it, then it gets delivered to the Prosecutor to review. Once it gets delivered, the Prosecutor has 72 BUSINESS HOURS to approve or deny it. If they deny it, you have to go to court for the approval and plead your case before the judge. So yesterday, due to the past 2 weeks of holidays and sentencing at the court house, I had to kindly tell 2 clients to "sit tight" for the weekend and maybe I can get you out on Monday. Like THAT'S something you want to hear. Did I mention the basement in the office is flooded? Again? So here I sit on a Saturday afternoon with the plumber. Wow, what a long post for only 4 days worth of activity! I'll try to KISS next time (Keep it simple, stupid).