Tiaras and Tap Dancing (an introduction to Lucy Chihuahua)

After having a nice relaxing day of laying in bed and soaking in a warm bath, Lucy was getting her hair brushed and styled and perfection. She had already gone thru her closet and chosen her adorable pink coat with the white fur trim to wear today, but she was wondering if her rhinestone necklace would be a little too much with her outfit. She sat up and went thru her agenda for the day; breakfast, get adored by the people who come to dance class, lunch, nap, watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua, run some laps, dinner...Okay, no rhinestones. We'll save that for the trip to the spa.

"Lucy!!!! You look so PRETTY!!! Yes you do! Yes you do!!!! Gimmee kisses!!!" her Daddy squealed. She happily covered him in kisses and snorted her happiness as only a chihuahua could. Then she jumped off the bed, ate her kibble, made one last stop at the puppy powder room, and ran to the door. It was time to get rolling! Her public awaited.

Wanting nothing less than the best for his princess Chihuahua, her Daddy, Jose, carried her to their purple Mini Cooper, placed her in her puppy car seat and they drove to his dance studio. Jose loved his dance studio, but times were tough there. In this small town in New Jersey, it was hidden on a side road and most people only enrolled their kids in dance classes. Jose offered mostly Ballroom dance and really didn't want to teach kids. It was something he realized he might have to do soon, but in the meantime, him and his staff had come up with some new ideas. Today was one of them. Lucy was scared.

When they got to the studio, Jose unhooked Lucy from her carseat and carried her inside. She knew she looked stunning. She always did. As usual, the girls were there already and greeted her with love and affection as he placed her on her purple princess pillow on the corner of his desk.

"Lucy!!!! You're just so beautiful!!! Give Auntie Cher a kiss!" Aunt Cher was Jose's dance partner and today's class was her idea. Cher was also married to Sonny. I can't make this crap up people. She claimed it was a sign they were meant to be together forever. He's smart and didn't argue. As a former cheerleader and pageant queen, Cher is a self proclamined diva at the age of 29. She has an eye for fashion, never buys items on sale, and has so many purses from Coach and Luis Vitton that Sonny had to surrender his "Man Cave" and turn it into an accessories closet. (His Man Cave is now in the unfinished, uninsulated garage).

Recently, Cher had gone to visit her great Grandma and found out the people at the home were bored. They talked about the old days when Nana Ming would dance for the USO and how she missed it. Being a big bundle of energy and having that "you can do it" attitude, Cher decided that she would help Nana Ming get those old feelings back and have a Seniors Tap Dancing class at the studio. She argued that it would be great exercise and good for the mind, and managed to get the staff at Shady Oaks to bus over the interested residents for tap class.

Since Cher was coordinating this, and had never tapped a day in her life, Jose had to call on Ethel for help. Jose started teaching Ethel how to tap dance when she was just a kid, so she was more than happy to help out.

"They're here!" Cher called out and ran outside to help unload the bus of 90 year olds and escort them inside. Lucy thought about hiding for cover. Nothing good could come from this, but she decided she really wanted to show off her beautiful outfit and get some attention and adoration, so she stayed put. Too bad Daddy didn't get her those earmuffs. Old people can be really loud.

"Has anyone seen my tap shoes?" Ethel asked. "I can't find them!"
"They're in the box with the sticky note on them that says 'Ethel's tap shoes'." Gladys answered.
"NO! I'm looking for my pink glittery ones, not the boring black ones."
Gladys rolled her eyes and mumbled something about that airhead and her damn sparkles as she walked into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

Ethel was 34 and known for being the airhead of the group. She was always changing her look...and her job. Somedays she'd come in with purple hair, and others it would be blonde. She said that when she found the right job, she'd know it, and that jobs are like melons. You have the thump them to find a good one.

Lucy had no idea what that meant. But she liked melon. So that was good.

Gladys was the voice of reason. At 30 she was always there for you, but didn't take any crap either. She'd tell it like it was while giving you a shoulder to cry on, but she was also very stressed out. She was constantly sending letters to her Senator about "those damn fire-safe cigarettes", and anti-smoking laws. The more stressed out she was, the more she smoked. As a result, she ordered Nicorette by the gross so she always had it on hand. In honor of today's class, she currently had about 8 pieces in her mouth...and the smell of smoke was wafting from the kitchen...

After 10 minutes of tearing the place apart, Ethel found her shoes in Lucy's favorite corner, strapped them on and walked into the ballroom. After another 20 minutes, the new students were finally inside and ready to start. Jose and Ethyl decided to split the group in half and start with the basics. By the time everyone was ready to go the 45 minutes class was down to 10 minutes. Lucy gave a deep exhale and settled into her pillow knowing nothing bad could happen in 10 minutes. She was wrong.

After 5 minutes of the basic shuffle-step, slap-step, Nana Ming had decided to try out her old moves. Ethel thought the her cane would work great as a prop and to add some additional flare to her moves. Nana Ming also had the hots for Fred and wanted to impress him. Well, as Nana was trying to shuffle off to Buffalo, it turns out that her cane was best used for support and not for flare. She crashed to the ground. Everyone came running to help her! Lucy scrambled off her pillow and helped ease Nana with some kisses until the ambulance could get there. While the EMT's loaded her into the ambulance, Nana Ming was flirting with them and singing "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy".

Cher jumped into the ambulance with Nana Ming and they raced off to the hospital.

After a thousand appologies from Ethel to everyone, they loaded the group back onto the buses and sent everyone back to the home.

"I think that went well," said Gladys.

Lucy walked over to Ethel's sparkly tap shoes and peed in them.

Create a photo slideshow

Random Blogging

Well, since Jennifer and Don are so good at updating their blog, I thought I'd do something to mine. But since most of you follow me on facebook (the 3 followers I have) then you already know what's going on in my life.

I've decided not to go through the interview process at Delta Airlines and continue to torture myself in NJ. That being said, there's a method to the madness. I am planning on having Lasik surgery in February and want to make sure that I have the time and money to do it then. If I stay on track here then I know it will get done.

I've applied to be a carhop at Sonic!!! So excited for the possibility to rollerskate at work! I'm pretty much just going to live my life for the fun of it and not for the money. I'm filing bankruptcy this spring and starting all over. Someday I'll be able to move out and have a place of my own again, but right now it's not an option financially.

2011 is going to be a year of reality for me. My goals will all be realistic. I'm aiming to lose 3 lbs per month for a total of 36 lbs in 2011. I think this is reasonable and it's not a "DIET" it's a SLOW change in eating habits. My rewards will be jewelery to myself. On the first of the month I will see if I am down those 3 lbs and buy myself something pretty and shiny. I will pick out a piece of jewelery that is my goal for the month. One the first of the following month I'll buy it if I lost the 3 lbs. If I lose more...even better!

I'm hoping to make a trip to Houston this year to see Jen, Don, Josh, Megan, Willow, Max and Cotton as well as my other friends down there. It's been too long since I've seen everyone and I really miss them all.

Maybe the rodeo lineup will be awesome and I can swing down for a long weekend :)

In the meantime I'm healthy and looking forward to the end of this bullshit year! I know it's not realistic to hope all the drama and crap ends overnight from Dec 31st to Jan 1st, but there's always hope.

XOXOXOXOXO